What's the most appropriate thing to do with a loved one's ashes following their cremation? There's no correct or incorrect answer to this question, and different family members will probably have different opinions. Take comfort in the fact that no decision needs to be made right away, and different family members can make their own decisions.
A Portion
There is one thing that should be arranged prior to your loved one's ashes being released to you. Talk to family members and friends about who wants a portion of the ashes. Once you have this information, ask the staff at the cremation facility to separate the ashes into the predetermined allocations.
You may not feel at ease separating ashes yourself, but if you should have to, remember that ashes are hygienic (having been incinerated), and are not recognizable as human remains. It's perfectly safe to handle ashes.
No Hurry Whatsoever
Once all parties have received their allocation of your loved one's ashes, it's essentially up to them to do what they wish with them. As mentioned, there's no hurry whatsoever—take as much time as you need to decide what you feel is best.
On Display
You might wish to simply transfer the ashes to a more ornamental urn (they're likely to be provided in a plastic or basic wooden container) to put them on display. The ashes can remain on display until you know what to do with them, or they can permanently stay where they are if you take consolation in having them near you.
A Keepsake
There are other ways to keep your loved one near you. Many companies make cremation keepsakes—taking a small amount of ashes and including it in something to be worn, such as a ring, a bracelet, or a locket. Ask the cremation facility if you don't know where to start looking. The manufacturing process for a cremation keepsake only uses a small amount of ashes, so you could choose to keep the remainder on display or do something more ceremonial.
Ceremonial Choices
Ceremonial options include the time-honored scattering of the ashes at a spot that was special to your loved one, or burying them to create a final resting place that can be visited. Burying ashes in a cemetery will incur a fee, but creates a traditional grave with a headstone or memorial plaque. Burying ashes on private property is generally permitted (depending on local zoning regulations), but creates a problem if you should ever move.
Please remember that once the ashes are divided, there won't be any disagreement about what to do with them. Take all the time you need.
Contact a local cremation service to learn more.
Share17 May 2023
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