5 Basic Etiquette Guidelines For American Funerals

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If you are lucky enough never to have lost someone close to you until now, you may be looking forward to the upcoming funeral with a little apprehension. Of course, you miss your loved one and want to celebrate their life, but you're also a bit nervous because you don't know what to expect in terms of etiquette. Take a deep breath, and relax; there are really only a few simple etiquette rules you need to worry about at the average American funeral.

1. Dress conservatively.

A couple of decades ago, this rule would have read "wear black." There has been some progress made on that front. You'll look totally in place if you still wear black, but you have some leeway now. Any dark, conservative color is appropriate. What you're trying to avoid is calling attention to yourself in general, so leave behind anything flashy, from gaudy jewelry to bright shoes.

2. Arrive a little early.

It would be incredibly impolite to come strolling in partway through the service. When deciding what time to leave, give yourself an extra 15 minutes. This way, if there is unexpected traffic, you will still be on time. And if you do indeed arrive early, you can use that time to socialize with others, which is certainly part of the funeral process.

3. Greet the family, but don't linger.

Either before or after the service, the family members of the deceased will usually stand in a line to greet the other attendees. Do not skip this; greeting the family is considered a key part of the funeral as it shows your respect for their loss. That being said, this is not the time to strike up a conversation about your college years or the local sports team. Exchange a few words, plus a hug or handshake — and then move on so the family can go on greeting others.

4. Sign the guest book.

Make sure you look for the guest book. It is usually set out near the entrance of the funeral home. This is a way for the family of the deceased to look back and see how many people came to support them. The funeral home also uses these records to gauge attendance. 

So there you have it. Aside from being generally quiet, mannerly, and kind, those are really the only etiquette rules you need to know to attend the average funeral services

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